Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
