I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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