i permit you to call me
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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