I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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