does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Randomize
