honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
