yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
