two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Randomize
