Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
