"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize