i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
