NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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