I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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