Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I am available for nakedness
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
