She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Randomize
