Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
