We're like a lot better than the average bears
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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