we have officially lost it.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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