I smell stomach acid.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
