Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
