is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
