Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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