Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
