brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
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