whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
