Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
