On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
