Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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