i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
