yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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