dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
