Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
