my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
