Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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