Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
being pregnant is like rehab
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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