yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
