I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
