I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
