left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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