There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
