a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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