My friends, they love my intelligence
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
