Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
