I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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