The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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