you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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