I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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