I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
