She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
