Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize