i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
