That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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