in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
