spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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