Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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