He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Help. Why am I so naked?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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