Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
