Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
