You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
