She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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