You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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