my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
jump out the window naked night went bad
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