hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
