I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Randomize