he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
