R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
