Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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